a shout out to all the people who started saying “same” as a joke once in awhile but now use it for the most random things like a car honking their horn at another car
I just wish I could do what Mallory does for me. I wish I could be encouraging and positive even when I’m feeling down. I wish I could bounce out of it and stop being selfish and realize that my shit that I have going on takes a back seat for her happiness. Especially when it’s something like today. Especially when it’s something important. Listening to her rave about and all I could say was “yeah” like I didn’t care. I didn’t say any of what I was thinking because — I don’t know. I wanted to ask so many things and I just didn’t. I didn’t put the effort. And I made her feel bad. And I have no place to be sitting here feeling bad for myself. I don’t think I am. I just feel bad that I didn’t give her what she deserved tonight. That she didn’t get encouraged from the person she loved. She only got “yeah”. And I wouldn’t want that. I didn’t see what I was doing. I just feel like there’s no good reason for being so distant. I should have done something. But I can’t take it all back and I can’t suddenly say “oh no look I do care trust me what I was five minutes ago doesn’t mean anything” then give her a bunch of text saying that exact thing. I recognize what I just did. I know I didn’t do what was right. I didn’t give for her like she does for me, and I want to change that.
My words aren’t as powerful as my actions, even if I wish they were my actions.
Now all I want to do is everything I can to show her that. To somehow make it up to her. Show her, instead of telling her, that I’m sorry and that I do care.
if you can listen to this without it becoming one of your favorite songs of 2014 i don’t think we have anything in common sry ;/